Day 21 – 30 Days of Earth – Asking For Help

Asking For Help

How good are you at asking for help or what you need? This is not a strong quality for those who have a lot of Earth.   You see Earth, has an “I got it all together” characteristic – and they often do!  The list has been made; things are organized and in their place and the mind is focused on getting things done.   What they are not good at is delegating. How much does this sound like you?

The concept of delegation or asking for help can be difficult.  Today take some time to reflect on how and if you ask for help.   Think about what holds you back from delegating tasks to others.   Do you worry they might not do what you ask?   Is it that you are not sure they are have the skills for completing you are asking?   Either way there is a remedy.

The first step is to know whom to delegate to and when.  Start by making sure you are clear what needs to be accomplished before you give the task to someone else.  If you are the one initiating the task be clear about if you want the person do it your way or if you are just looking for successful completion.  For my own children when they were young it was my responsibility to model how to clean their room but in the end whether they did it my way wasn’t a big issue.  However when they became teenagers and they were learning how to drive it was important that did follow my guidance because of the risk involved in driving a car.   Either way the first time I gave them the keys and they drove their siblings I was still nervous but I trusted their ability.  Delegation requires us to increase our level of trust in others and equal be willing to invest in their success.

Here are a few tips to increase your comfort with delegating and asking for help:

  1. Should it be delegated or is it too critical and truly needs your involvement? Make sure you when you decided not to delegate a task it isn’t because of the desire for you to feel indispensable or needed.
  2. Consider the benefits – just think how nice it would be to have someone on your team!
  3. Make sure the person understands exactly what it is you want them to do.  Be clear and ask for what you want and need.  It is hard to guess.  If you are the one being asked to do something for another, if you are not clear on what is expected, be sure to clarify.
  4. Once you ask give the person the authority to do what you asked them to do.  This is the way to show you trust the person.  Without trust the one you are asking to help you may lose confidence not because they are not capable merely because they feel you doubt their ability.
  5. Be open and receptive to follow up, with feedback and questions.  The easier it is stay connected, the more the tasks you are delegating will model the values of partnership.

Happy delegations!  Your homework today is to practice saying these words “can you help me?”

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Day 7 – 30 Days of Earth – Wanting To Do It All

Asking For Help

Did you relate to the title of the email?  “Is There Anyone Out There?”

This is where earth people can hit a bump.  As much as earth loves to be the one doing things and helping out it hates to be taken advantage of.   Perhaps it is you, or someone you know . . .  The person who volunteers or takes charge and then is disappointed when they are the only one getting things done.   The hard part is Earth people like to help out, but can get their feelings hurt when no one is there to help them.  It is a push and pull – wanting to do it all and then getting mad or disappointed when you realize you are doing it all.   I will let you in on a secret – earth kind of likes to be in control and has a hard time letting others help out.   Time to thinking about giving and receiving help.

How easy is it for you to ask for help?

How easy it is it for you to give help?

There are lots of childhood memories and stories made up about the word “help.”  As an adult it is important to untangle the old messages and embrace that giving and receiving of help is an essential component to healthy relationships.   Maybe you received the message that asking for help makes you “weak” or “needy.”  On the other hand, perhaps you thought you were the  “good child” because of what you did and accomplished.   All of these messages and stories we bring into our adult relationships.  Time to let go and create a new story.

Find a cozy place to sit or lay down.  Support all parts of your body with pillows.  Then read the meditation below a few times.  Gently breath in and notice what happens when you say:

Meditation 3:

All life is giving and receiving

May my giving have a purpose

May my receiving give me comfort

With an open heart giving and receiving is endless

With open hands giving and receiving is effortless

Now reflect on what you noticed.   What you expect shows up more then what you believe.   Today’s challenge is to ask for what you need and give without judgment.  Notice how it feels to have someone at your side and on your side.   The first step to not being alone is to let others join us in our doing and to willingly join others in what they are doing.

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